When I’m gendered it feels like either a left or right hook. Never a hug, why is everyone so apt to want to hit me before they embrace me?
A smile is a lure for me to break a heart,
A let down. Never enough.
But I’ll still smirk back.
Left side up.
Check cheerful enough.
Handsome.
Full lipped.
I try not to though unless I can read the situation with any perception that I have available to me.
People will pretend to be something they’re not.
Maybe that’s why no one trusts me.
Besides knowing that in my gut
Women haven’t shown much else to me.
Men scoff because they’ve got a dick or they are one.
It’s hard, pun intended.
It’s hard to feel like much of anything.
Worth a smile, a true smile.
Because there is no respect for gender fluid folks like me.
Except……………… in community, Ha, Ha, Ha!
Ha, Ha, Ha!
Do I sound crazy?
They’ve been the same with the taunts.
I’m bait on a hook but do worms fuck?
Well they get fucked.
Eaten alive.
Thing is in this game after a while everyone gets bit.
But do they still smile?
A smile isn’t sincere anymore than a hook.
Line and sinker.
I’m trying not to stop, I’m trying to keep offering, thing is the voices keep telling me things I shouldn’t know.
I hope they are all lies and that next time someone smiles it’s because they are a mammal with a built in response for joy.
Because me, myself?
I’m a whiny little bitch.
That’s the line.